Sadly, comedienne LISA LAMPANELLI can't make Comedy Central's roast of CHARLIE SHEEN in September . . . for now at least. She explains, quote, "I'm actually booked to do a show that night already, but if there's any way I can get out of it, all I can say is, 'Charlie, here I come!'" Lisa adds, quote, "I am personally thrilled to death that they chose Charlie and I'm glad he's desperate enough to have accepted the challenge. I mean, come on . . . the guy was replaced by Ashton Kutcher. "I guess he now knows how Bruce Willis felt!" Let's hope she can make it happen because Lisa is one of the few comedians who's diabolical enough to come up with material that would SLICE THROUGH the countless, played-out Charlie Sheen jokes. Meanwhile, Charlie's ex-wife BROOKE MUELLER wants no part of the roast, meaning that she doesn't want anyone roasting HER. Supposedly, Brooke took time out of her daily rehab commute to notify her lawyers that she will NOT tolerate her name being mentioned during the roast. She's "seriously considering" sending Comedy Central a letter demanding that they cut any mentions of her.
