What The Hell Theater 5/31

This might be a first. On Sunday, in Massachusetts, a 26-year-old guy was injured at a Memorial Day party, in a SNOWMOBILE crash. This guy had removed the skis on the snowmobile and replaced them with wheels. He was showing it off to his friends when he lost control and crashed. He was taken to the hospital with serious injuries.

In Florida, police busted a couple for having extremely UNSAFE SEX. They may've been using a condom or they may not have, but the REAL unsafe part was that they'd broken into a public park and were getting-it-on on top of a 30-foot-high DIVING BOARD. They were charged with trespassing. The diving board was bleached before the pool was opened the next morning.

ROAD RAGE!

You're right: The other people on the road ARE completely unqualified. According to a study, 18% of people would fail their state's written driving test if they had to retake it tomorrow. That multiplies out to about 37 MILLION Americans. The study also found that men are more qualified to drive than women . . . 27.2% of women would fail the test versus 13.6% of men.

Full story HERE

What The Hell Theater

Well this is just psychotic. In Washington, a dad grounded his 15-year-old daughter and took away her cell phone. And she responded by . . . SHOOTING HIM with a bow-and-arrow. He was airlifted to the hospital with life-threatening injuries . . . she's been arrested for first-degree assault.

There's a guy in Ohio called the MULLET BANDIT who robs banks . . . and is best identified by his luxurious brown mullet. Well, he knows the police are on to him . . . so when he robbed a bank on Wednesday, rather than cut the mullet, he tucked it into his hat. Police and the FBI are still looking for this guy.

Happy Birthday 5/26

Today is Senior Health and Fitness Day!
There are 212 Shopping Days Left Until Xmas.
There are 25 days until summer begins.

Matt Stone co-creator of "South Park" - 40
Helena Bonham Carter - 45
Lenny Kravitz - 47
Bobcat Goldthwait - 49
Sally Ride the first American woman in space - 60
Hank Williams Jr. - 62
Stevie Nicks - 63
John Wayne would have been 104 - (1907 - 1979)

1896 - The DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE, co-founded by CHARLES DOW, first appeared in the "Wall Street Journal".

1978 - The FIRST LEGAL CASINO in the eastern U.S. opened in ATLANTIC CITY, New Jersey. It was the Resorts Atlantic City, which still stands today.

1994 - MICHAEL JACKSON and LISA MARIE PRESLEY got MARRIED. They decided to get divorced 20 months later, citing irreconcilable differences.

Today is Brother's Day!
There are 214 Shopping Days Left Until Xmas.
There are 27 days until summer begins.

Will Sasso - 36
John C. Reilly - 46
Rosanne Cash - 56
Priscilla Presley - 66
Patti LaBelle - 67
GARY BURGHOFF Radar on "M*A*S*H" - 68
Bob Dylan - 70
Tommy Chong - 73

1830 - A poet named Sarah Josepha Hale, of Newport, New Hampshire, published a poem called "MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB".

1883 - The BROOKLYN BRIDGE opened after 14 years and 27 construction worker deaths. . . connecting Manhattan and Brooklyn for the first time.

1899 - The first auto repair shop in history opened in Boston and, we assume, instantly started ripping people off and crushing their financial stability.

1935 - The first MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL NIGHT GAME took place at Crosley Field in Cincinnati, where the Reds beat the Phillies, 2-to-1.

1989 - "Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade" hit theaters. If only that HAD been the Last Crusade. If only!

1995 - "Braveheart" hit theaters, starring a pre-public-anti-Semitism MEL GIBSON.

Worst of the WORST!

Check out a list of the 10 Worst Sequels of All Time. And yes, it includes "Blues Brothers 2000" and "Star Wars - Episode 1: The Phantom Menace".

10.) "Rocky V"
9.) "Blues Brothers 2000"
8.) "Sex and the City 2"
7.) "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace"
6.) "Speed 2: Cruise Control"
5.) "Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace"
4.) "Jaws 3D" & "Jaws Revenge" (tied)
3.) "Batman & Robin"
2.) "Highlands 2: The Quickening"
1.) "Staying Alive"

Wanna know why? Click HERE