Daily Rant: Jolly Ranchers

So I've decided that it truly isn't healthy to keep inside what pisses you off. So, each day I'll just rant a bit about things that irk me so they don't build up inside and make me go postal one day. Nope, that wouldn't be good at all. So today... Jolly Ranchers.



Jolly Ranchers candies, invented in 1949 in a place where really nothing good comes from, Brooklyn NY. Sure, things from Brooklyn may appear well and good on the outside at times. I myself, just today, walked past the candy dish of a co worker and spied the candies sitting innocently waiting to be tasted. Lured in by the fruity temptation, I swiped a few and padded back to the 979X studio. Now, DUH, I talk on air for a living. This can not possibly be executed when one has a mouthful of sticky candy. No, but like a dumbass, I popped one into my mouth and soon found my teeth stuck together with the seconds ticking away before I had to crack the mic. In a panic, I tried to pry my jaw open to no avail, nothing but pain. Oh why, WHY do these candies have to be so tempting and tasty only to be found to be the sneaky little creature looking to thwart my quest for dental hygiene and radio super-stardom? Le-sigh. Eventually the sugary goodness melted away and the I was feed from my temporary state of lock jaw. Still... beware the Jolly Rancher!

p.s. Watermelon is still the best!